Writing a Letter to Yourself
A few years ago, I started a small tradition of writing a birthday reflection letter every year to commemorate my solar return. I already keep a daily journal, but there is something I have found distinctively pleasant about writing an open letter to myself. I enjoy setting aside time to be introspective on this past year by piecing together where I was then vs where I am now.
My inspiration of engaging in this yearly ritual originates from watching a video from one of my favourite YouTubers who also writes letters to herself.
As a writing a letter to yourself pro, here is why I think you should consider writing letters to you, from you.
You love the sentimental stuff..
Being sentimental can wire up an emotional connection to something, it creates an attachment to memories. We all have something that holds sentimental value – cinema tickets, clothes, souvenirs, or cd albums (remember those?) You get the idea. Crafting a letter to yourself opens space to deepen the relationship you have with yourself.
Even though written letters are not popular anymore in comparison to the digital communication channels available to us, research undertaken by Pen Heaven who surveyed 1,000 members of the public found that 69% of people prefer to receive a handwritten letter over an email or tweet.
Last Christmas, I remember watching someone’s story on Instagram where they mentioned that instead of receiving a non-desirable Christmas gift, they love the idea of being gifted a personal handwritten letter by a family or friend, and in return swerving away from the hyper commercialism of Christmas.
Take a break on future decisions
Something that allured me to write letters to myself is that, quite often, life can pull me in directions where I am constantly thinking about future me. Intensely. There are so many decisions to be made in the present and the question I am frequently asking is How will this affect future me? Writing a birthday letter allows me to just pause for a second and reflect on all the experiences I had within the past twelve months - What did I learn? How did I grow? What did I let go of? What new things did I try? What is important to me now?
Writing about my growth allows me to look back at the pivotal experiences where I can look back with sheer appreciation for myself. Bringing awareness to past versions of me that are a part of me instead of getting so caught up in fuelling my future vision.
Alternatively, there is also the option of writing a letter to your Future self. For this I recommend using the website Futureme.org. Using Futureme.org, you can craft a digital letter with the intent of it being read by future you and select the desired date of your choice to receive the letter to your email inbox – whether that is a year from now or five. Not only that, but it also shows other users’ letters who have chosen to publish it publicly.
Self-awareness
We are all so weirdly multifaceted, and recognising what makes us authentic, or what our values are helps us to realign with what matters most. Writing letters to myself increased my self-awareness just by putting thoughts to paper, giving me the transparency I never knew I needed.
Entering a new year of life is special, many of us largely focus on the celebratory aspect of a birthday coming up (as we rightly should celebrate for those who want & choose to..) However, it can often overshadow what we experienced over the past year. We forget the details in between that made up the last year for us. Therefore, closing a formative year on a positive note with a letter seems worthwhile.
Meeting your own needs
You may be familiar with the concept of reparenting yourself. For those who are unaware, it essentially means to meet the needs of your inner child, which is a sub-personality that lives within the subconscious.
From reading my past letters, I spotted a theme of giving myself validation for choices that I have made by opening a portal of acceptance to be received. Choosing to fill myself up internally with what I need, rather than seeking external validation. I noticed from writing letters to myself provides me a mental reframe to meet my emotional needs by processing my internal world.
The good news is that writing a letter to yourself only requires a pen, paper, and your reflective skills..
Some personal tips on writing a letter to yourself:
Personal tip 1 – Mark the event in the calendar
I found putting this sort of task into my calendar allowed me to not forget about it, especially if my birthday is right around the corner. Scheduling in the time to write a letter enables you to carve out time, where you’re not forcefully rushing yourself to complete it as you didn’t initiate it as a priority.
Personal tip 2 – Write in third person
When I first sat down to write a letter to myself, I remember asking myself..
“What point of view should I write from?”
Eventually I opted for third person as I wanted to speak directly to myself, like speaking to a friend.
Personal tip 3 – Write in a comfortable and private place
This may be obvious to some as writing a letter to yourself is intimate, you want to be in an environment where you feel safe to be vulnerable, open, and honest with yourself. Find a place where it’s quiet and you can listen to your thoughts clearly.
Personal tip 4 – Your writing approach
There are different writing styles you can choose from when writing a letter to yourself. The most common one used is free writing, which is writing a stream of conscious thoughts. I tend to use this kind of approach as I prefer writing what I feel gravitated towards.
Personal tip 5 – Do not feed into your perfectionism
I think the beauty of writing a letter to yourself is how it doesn’t need to be an extremely formal, clean-cut letter as we are usually taught in school. Try not to focus on perfect grammar and elaborately formed sentences, what matters most is expressing your thoughts.
If you are needing a little guidance, you may want to go down the route of following journaling prompts...
Top 13 self-reflection prompts: -
1. Thinking back over the last 12 months, what made me happy?
2. What significant moments did I experience? Were any of them surprising?
3. How did I outgrow the past version of me 12 months ago?
4. What are things I wish I spent more time doing?
5. If I could summarise the last year with a title or theme, what would it be and why?
6. At what point could I have been more kind to myself?
7. Besides any external achievements, what am I most proud of myself for?
8. What has been my favourite day over this past year?
9. What expectations, beliefs, or things did I finally let go of?
10. Moving forward to the next year, what can I do to protect my energy?
11. How can I strengthen the relationship with myself?
12. For the next upcoming year, are there any new things I want to experience?
13. What are the 3 reminders you need to hear right now to start the new year?
Final thoughts to ‘Uncover’
Don’t feel restrained by only writing a letter to yourself on your birthday. This can of course be done at any time of the year and has the potential to provide value regardless.
Thanks for reading!
xo, Shreya
If you are interested in following my curiosity to expand thoughts deeper with spirituality, healing, and personal musings, please subscribe to receive posts to your email inbox.